Life gets in the way - again
Yes, we've hit a bit of a rough patch. Mainly, it all stems from the lack of time I have to spend at home these days, and the time I have to devote to llama, especially playing. I need to find the time to reconnect. Somehow, someway, I will make the time, if she's still interested in it. I have been working a lot lately, and that's not likely to change anytime soon.
Taylor - thanks for the wonderful comments. I certainly agree with your assumptions. I absolutely feel she is worthy of everything, including all the love I have for her. She has not failed me, and she works everyday to get better.
Padme - thanks to you as well. Your suggestion is a good one, and I would like to try something along those lines.
When llama wrote that, she was hurt, confused, angry, and very emotional. All to be expected and completely understandable. She was afraid to write it, and afraid to post it. In fact, she told me she had written it, and thought of deleting it. I told her not to, that I wanted to read it, then I posted it for her.
She was worried that I would get angry with her for the way she was thinking. I assured her, I was not angry at her. If anything, I was angry at myself for allowing things to go this far without addressing it.
The long hours, coupled with lack of sleep has made me irritable and grouchy - something I don't like being, and certainly don't like bringing home and taking out on her for no good reason; like snapping at her before the concert in front of friends. That's not usually how I act, and not the way I normally treat her.
One thing she said has stuck with me. It really made me stop and think and re-evaluate the way things are progressing. She said in her last post, "I also don't know that I feel like being a slave anymore." I have asked her about this when we talked. She is not sure of her feelings right now. I have told her I need to know if she no longer wishes to be my slave - as it will obviously affect our relationship and our lives.
I guess all I can do right now is wait for her to sort through her feelings and decide if she still wishes to be owned, or if she wishes to be released.
Taylor - thanks for the wonderful comments. I certainly agree with your assumptions. I absolutely feel she is worthy of everything, including all the love I have for her. She has not failed me, and she works everyday to get better.
Padme - thanks to you as well. Your suggestion is a good one, and I would like to try something along those lines.
When llama wrote that, she was hurt, confused, angry, and very emotional. All to be expected and completely understandable. She was afraid to write it, and afraid to post it. In fact, she told me she had written it, and thought of deleting it. I told her not to, that I wanted to read it, then I posted it for her.
She was worried that I would get angry with her for the way she was thinking. I assured her, I was not angry at her. If anything, I was angry at myself for allowing things to go this far without addressing it.
The long hours, coupled with lack of sleep has made me irritable and grouchy - something I don't like being, and certainly don't like bringing home and taking out on her for no good reason; like snapping at her before the concert in front of friends. That's not usually how I act, and not the way I normally treat her.
One thing she said has stuck with me. It really made me stop and think and re-evaluate the way things are progressing. She said in her last post, "I also don't know that I feel like being a slave anymore." I have asked her about this when we talked. She is not sure of her feelings right now. I have told her I need to know if she no longer wishes to be my slave - as it will obviously affect our relationship and our lives.
I guess all I can do right now is wait for her to sort through her feelings and decide if she still wishes to be owned, or if she wishes to be released.
posted by cva-me at 7/07/2006 08:06:00 PM
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