Broken

After the move and all of the changes that have occurred in such a short manner, I found myself out of sorts. I was angry, stressed, ill-tempered, bratty, confused, moody as hell and basically being a bitch. I have a very bad temper but when I get angry about something, I will internalize it and eventually, it builds up behind that dam and the dam breaks. I will literally explode. Master knew I was getting close to the breaking point at the end of last week but there was nothing He could do about it right then. We were both quite busy dealing with our respective jobs and other obligations.

Over the weekend, I behaved when I had to and when we were home, I would act like a child who didn't get exactly what she wanted. He would make a simple joke or observation and I would take it to heart and sulk. I pushed Him and pushed Him. He never once lost His temper. Monday night, a lot of my feelings came out, with Him just sitting and listening to me sob. There were some things that came out that I was embarrassed and quite ashamed to tell Him. He just reassured me that He wasn't angry with me, that we'd work through it, and most importantly that we were okay. I wiped my nose, dried my eyes, and went off to bed, feeling absolutely miserable and a bit better at the same time. Some of the weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

Yesterday morning, I awoke to His hands roaming my body and His lips kissing my neck, back, and shoulders. What a lovely way to wake up. He got on top of me and kissed, sucked, and nibbled His way down my body. I just laid back and enjoyed the feeling of Him combined with still being half asleep, enjoying every touch. His lips soon found my clit and He knows exactly what to do. He wrapped His arms around my thighs and pulled me closer to His mouth. When He hits my G-spot, I can come almost instantly and not stop. After I come the first time, my clit becomes so sensitive that any touch almost hurts. I came hard and long. As I came down, He kept sucking and nibbling. I tried in vain to pull away from Him but He wouldn't let me go. I'm not sure how many times I came or if I ever really stopped. After He was sated, He climbed back on top of my body and slid into me. It was somewhere between making love and fucking and it felt wonderful. After He came in me, He held me for a moment and whispered "Good morning" into my ear. I just smiled and replied "Good morning."

He got up to clean up with me just laying there in a state of euphoria. I was so warm and comfortable. He came back to bed and covered the both of us back up and we fell back asleep. A couple hours later, I woke up and made my way out into the house. It's different waking up here and not having to leave to go back to my apartment. It's nice. We each got our days started. I had a laundry list of things to get done for the day. I spent a few hours running back and forth from here to there. I was having problems getting done what needed to be done. It seems like nothing is ever easy for me; there's always some sort of problem or it just doesn't work out the way it should. Needless to say, my patience having already been thin, was shot. I was just pissed off at the world. Master hates it when I'm like this and it hurts me to know that. There are just times when I cannot help myself; I don't want to feel this way, I don't want to be the bitch but I just can't stop.

The day wore on and with Master's help, I got things all figured out which helped to improve my mood. He picked out a movie that I haven't seen and we settled in to watch it. I chuckled but underneath it, something was still not sitting correctly. We finished the movie, which was pretty good, and headed out to shut the cars up for the night. After we got back inside, we started acting silly and bringing out the kung-fu moves. His favorite thing to do (it seems) is to tickle me. I'm pretty ticklish but He's not! Not fair. We wrestled around in the living room, me laughing to the point where it was hard to breathe and Him seemingly enjoying Himself. I cried out "Uncle, I give," which brought an even bigger smile to His face.

We got ready for bed and shut the lights off. The playing resumed, with tickling moving to kissing. I could feel His dick getting hard against me which turns me on. "Now look what you've done, you woke him up. Now do something about it."

With that He rolled on to His back. I slide off His underwear and starting touching Him and licking Him. As I continued, His moans and breathing let me know that He was enjoying what I was doing. I was pleasing Him. I was very turned on and sucked Him like my life depended on it. I'm not sure how long He let me suck Him. He sat up and pulled me down to the bed in front of Him and put me on my stomach.

"I'm gonna fuck your ass and make you scream."

With that He started grinding His hips into my ass, against the pants I had on. I begged Him to take me, to hurt me. I just needed it. I needed Him to take me and enforce His dominance over me. I needed Him to use me and call me His slut, His whore. He climbed off to go get a condom and the lube. He left me writhing on the bed, still clothed. I didn't dare get up.

He made His way back to the bed and yanked my pants down. I lifted my ass up and felt the cold lube being dripped down my ass crack. I moaned, knowing what coming; Wanting to beg Him to stop and beg Him to fuck me at the same time. I wasn't something that I wanted, it was something I needed. He mounted me and slid the head of His cock into my ass, then laying down on top of me. I just moaned and whimpered at the mix of pain and pleasure, all the while begging to be hurt and being rewarded with hard smacks to my ass cheeks, His nails running up and down my back, His teeth sinking into the flesh of my shoulders. I arched my back as much as I could and pushed back to take Him.

"That's right slut, take it. Take it all in your ass. This is what you wanted isn't it? You wanted my cock in your ass. Take it all," He growled into my ear, biting it. I whimpered and cried out. He made me answer Him and answer Him loudly. He started fucking my ass. God it felt amazing. I begged Him to fuck me, begged Him to use me like the slut I was. I pushed Him with my words and got everything I asked for. He wrapped His hand in my hair and forced my face into the bed, the other hand beneath me, digging into my breasts, His teeth marking me. I begged Him to mark me and mark me He did. He bit the same spot repeatedly over the course of it all. His hands or arm around my throat and neck.

He asked me who owned this ass, making me answer Him clearly and loudly. He pulled out with me arching my back up and looking at Him behind me. "Get down bitch, did I tell you, you could move?"

"No Master."

"Get back down. You'll get up when I'm done with you and let you get up."

He pushed back into me with ease causing me to cry out.

"That's it, take it. You'll take whatever I give you. You'll take it all and then some slut. You'll take it in any hole won't you bitch?"

"Yes Master."

"I didn't hear you."

"Yes Master!"

"I'm gonna fuck you and afterwards you'll thank me for it. You'll thank me for fucking you and using you and letting you pleasure me. Thank me slut."

"Thank you Master for fucking my ass."

"I"m not convinced Slut, I'm not convinced that you're enjoying this."

"God, thank you Master, thank you for fucking my ass and fucking me like the slut I am. Thank you." This time I was saying it like I was begging. I moaned through it and kept thanking Him.

He grunted and growled into my ear, fucking me, using me like I begged Him too. My mouth was spitting out nasty pleas. I was talking dirty and at one point, getting pissed off and aggravated, pushing Him even more. I was telling Him what to do and He did it and pushed even harder back, asserting Himself more and more. I have no idea how long that went on, that power struggle. My pain and anger coming out. I pushed Him with my words and He pushed back twice as hard with His actions. I think it was in there that He broke me.

He broke me.

I gave in to Him completely. I was His in every aspect of my being. Heart, soul, mind, body, every fiber was His and His alone.

He pulled out again and told me to roll over. I moved to my back with Him pulling my pants off of me. He had to hold up my legs to do it because by this time I was gone. I was in space and broken. He lifted my legs up to His shoulders, lifting my body off the bed. He slid back into me and let His body fall down onto mine. I think He knew something had happened. He fucked my ass with less vigor and shorter strokes.

"Mmmm, you like this, don't you?"

I think I answered Him with a whimper. Anything past this point is a blur. I whimpered and moaned.

"God I don't know how much more I can take," I said, not much above a whisper. He pulled out and growled in my ear, "I'm not done with you yet bitch." With that, He told me to roll back over. I do remember at this point whimpering, and mumbling 'no' but doing just as He said. He pushed back into me again and started fucking me again.

"Take it all. Take all my dick in your ass."

I begged Him for His cum, begged Him to come in my ass. "I wanna feel your dick get harder and feel You twitch and feel You cum."

Once again, I have no idea how long this went on. He was on top of me and I was His. He started to groan and grunt and I knew He was going to cum soon. He came and thrust into me a few more times before He rolled off. I just laid there; I couldn't move. I started to cry softly. He stroked my back and got up to clean off. During that time, I started to cry harder. I knew He had broken me. He walked over and sat next to me on the edge of the bed, stroking my hair and face.

"What's wrong Llama?"

I sniffled. "Don't take this the wrong way. It's actually a good thing but You broke me. I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting the past few days. I was acting like a bitch and I'm so sorry."

He responded somewhere along the lines of: "It's ok, I knew you needed this. I knew you needed the release. I'm proud of you Llama. We pushed your limits and went past them. I love you and now we can move on." He sat and stroked my hair and comforted me while I sobbed into my pillow. He would lean over and kiss my shoulder. I was so tired of being angry and out of sorts. Feeling that way just zapped all of my energy and I was beginning to hide in my sleep. I was having trouble staying awake through the day. It made me feel like shit in more ways then one. He let me lay and get it all out, all the poison.

"Why don't you get up and get cleaned up. You'll feel better after a shower."

He helped me stand up and hugged me tightly, "It's okay, we can move forward now. Shh."

I shed my little tank top and realized that there was a searing pain on the left side of my back, between my shoulder and spine, right in the muscle. I started the water for my shower and stepped in. He has a small mirror in there so He can shave. I turned and could see the bruise already. I could feel the welt with my hands. I washed up quickly and got dried off in a matter of less than 10 minutes. I stepped out into the room and told Him that I had a welt already. He looked at it and remarked that I had a nasty welt already and reminded me that, that's what I'd asked for. "You should be more careful of what you wish for, you might just get it."

"Well, this is true but if I didn't want it, I wouldn't have asked you for it."

We climbed into bed. I was almost too tired to fall asleep. "I still need a good cry but I'm too tired."

He rolled over and said, "Come here." I snuggled up next Him, into His arms. "Go ahead and cry, get it all out."

"Well, I don't want to snot all over you."

"Hun, it wouldn't be the first time you've cried on me."

I smiled, "But you were wearing shirts when I cried on you."

And with that, I began to just cry. I cried onto His chest and apologized again. He didn't deserve that kind of behavior from me, it was really unacceptable.

"You'll notice that I didn't lose my temper with you. Not once. I knew that you needed some kind of release to get rid of everything. I knew you were having trouble dealing with it. It's done now."

We laid there for awhile. "I feel so safe right now."

"You are safe. You will always be safe. It's my job to protect you."

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to know."

After that, we laid there quietly. I cried out whatever was left inside. I whispered that I love Him more than He'd ever know."

"I love you too. Why don't you try and get some sleep Llama."

I kissed His cheek and rolled away from Him. I was so very tired but actually had trouble falling asleep. I've had this trouble before; being too tired to fall asleep. Both of us had trouble last night but as soon I managed to fall asleep, I slept very well. I didn't hear the alarm go off the first time. Master got up and got ready for work. I had to get out of bed to move my car for
Him. Usually He'll move it for me but not today. So I'm up earlier than I am used to. I can usually fall back asleep after He leaves but decided to stay up. It's early and I can actually open the blinds without it warming the house too much. It's quiet and peaceful; mimicking how I feel.

I'm back to being me and Master and I are back to being 'us.' I feel peaceful and quiet, tranquil, happy, soft. There's no more poison, no more anger left. I needed to be broken, I needed to feel His dominance over me, I needed Him to assert it. And assert He did. I'm back in my place, the place that feels so right and so comfortable.

I'm marked and I'm reminded whenever my shirt grazes my shoulder just right or when I sit back that I'm owned. There are faint red lines up and down my back, light bruises on my bottom and breasts. His teeth marks are clear to see on my shoulder. I look at that one and smile in the mirror. The rest will fade soon but not that one. I'll carry that for a good couple of weeks before it fades completely. There's no doubt in my mind about who owns me. There's no doubt about His love for me or what He'd do for me. There's no doubt about 'us.'

Life is back to where it should be.