Out of sorts

llama has been out of sorts. It's not a sudden occurence - it's been building. It's my fault. My schedule has not allowed us to enjoy the wonderful, regular, hard-core sessions we had in the past. The price of success, I suppose.

She's a pain slut, she knows it. I know it. She loves to be spanked and hurt, used and abused. We did this on a regular basis. Lately, there hasn't been the time. When there is the time, one or both of us is usually too tired. It's a double-edged sword. How do you give the one you love what you know she needs and desires when you simply can't find the time or the energy? You make the time.

Yesterday I had the morning free at home, so did llama. We agreed it was time to get back in the swing of things. We also agreed that we needed to start back slow, it's been well over a month since any serious play. Her pain tolerance has dropped to near-record lows.

She was also apprehensive. Not about us, her desires, or the actual play. She voiced a real, valid & justifiable concern to me. She was afraid if we started back up again after our circumstance-induced hiatus, that we wouldn't continue on a regular basis. She was afraid that she would get back into sub-space, then experience sub-drop again. I had not fully appreciated that she had gotten that far out of sorts. My intuition and vibes are off. I need to work on that some more.

We talked about it, I promised her that we would find the time, no matter what. I will do whatever I have to do to give her what she needs and desires, and deliver these things when needed and in a timely manner. It will take time and work, no question. I know that she is worth it, as well as our happiness in our sessions.

We did play for a few hours yesterday morning, llama getting marked in several ways and locations in the process, as well as multiple well-needed orgasms for her. It's a starting point for us, and we will build from there. Look for a HNT post tomorrow of some of my handy work on my dearest llama.