Choices and consequences

By this point, I thought she would have known and understood without being told. I guess, I didn't make it clear enough, and now I must go back to re-teach what should have already been known.

Several weeks ago, Llama was invited to attend a girls-only toy and lingerie party. The invite came from the wife of one of my friends. I thought it would do her good to get out, make some friends away from me, and have a night alone.

As the weeks went by, we both forgot about it, until two days ago. I bumped into the wife of another friend, and she asked if Llama would be at the party tonight. I asked her what she was talking about, then remembered the invite from all those weeks ago. I called Llama to remind her about it, and she too had forgotten. I asked her if she still wanted to go, and she was unsure.

After 2 days of debate, we were talking about it again today, and she was still not sure if she wanted to go. I had told her it didn't matter to me, that if she wanted to go she could, and if she didn't, she didn't have to. I did tell her I thought it would be good for her to get out and have a change of pace for a night. She finally told me that she desired me to instruct her as to what she do. I told her she would be going, and that was that. This decision was made around 12:30 this afternoon.

Part of the problem was, neither of us could remember what time it started, and I was unable to get up with the hostess yesterday or today to find out. Also, she had said all those weeks ago that invitations would be sent and she never did that. Llama was worried that she was not really invited after all, and felt unsure about going.

Finally, as I was on my way home from work, late again, I heard back from the hostess. She indeed wanted Llama to attend, and the party was at 7. I looked at my watch, and it was 6:30. I told her she would be there, but she might be a few minutes late. She said that would be fine. I called Llama, and told her to get ready to go, that I would be home in about 15 minutes or so, and she could leave. I needed to give her a check, so she could make purchases of anything she liked. Luckily, the hostess lives only a few minutes away, so she would not be overly late.

When I arrived home, Llama was getting her keys to leave, and she looked mad. She also was dressed way to casually for my tastes. She stood before me in jeans, a sweatshirt and a ball cap. One of the things I truly love about Llama is that she can go from jeans and a t-shirt to a dress and heels, hair and make-up done to the nines, and fit into any environment.

So, when I saw her standing there, dressed like that for a party, and with the chip on her shoulder, I asked her what was going on and what was wrong. She informed me that she had to get dressed quickly, since she had not heard back from today about it, and that she had already been in her pajamas and ready to relax for the night, and had not planned on going.

I blew my top, rather quickly. I was very angry with her for her presumption, even after I told her she was going, simply because since out discussion she had not heard back from me and she figured that she was not going to attend, despite our earlier conversation.

Not only had she taken it upon herself to incorrectly assume she was not going, but she was not dressed as she should have been. When she is out, whether with me or alone, her appearance to others is a direct reflection upon me. I expect her to be properly dressed for the occasion, whatever that may be. In my opinion, she was not. What ensued was me getting very agitated with her. I raised my voice and yelled at her, that not only should she not have been in her pajamas, thinking she was not going, but she should have been attired better for the event. She tried to offer a feeble excuse that she didn't have much time to get ready after my call, and that was the best she could do on short notice. I again reminded her that earlier in the day I had told her she would be going, and this excuse did not hold up. She began to cry, unsure of why I was so angry with her.

I quickly retrieved a check from the checkbook, gave it to her, and reminded her of the directions on how to get to the house. I then sent her on her way. I am embarrassed about the way she will look when she arrives. There is nothing I can do about it now, there is no time. A few minutes after she left, she called me from the cell phone and asked how much money she was allowed to spend, if any. I asked her why she thought I gave her a blank check if I didn't expect her to buy anything. I told her to get whatever she liked, within reason, and to use her best judgment. She also commented that she felt like she was not dressed appropriate for the occasion after what I had said to her. I told her she wasn't, and that was not something that could be helped at this point. I told her to go and have a good time, and I would talk to her about it when she got home.

I will need to remind her, again, that her appearance in public with or without me, but especially without me, is a direct reflection upon me and I was not at all happy in how she chose to go out tonight. Granted that 30 minutes is not a lot of time for a woman to get dressed to go out for the night, but she could have thrown on a nicer outfit, some make-up and done something with her hair quickly in that time.

This will be a lesson she will have to learn the hard way.