Happy HNT

A red behind from a recent paddling

Flesh and Bones

Friday night was fun! Master was so good to me...He always is.

And therein lies the problem. He's always good to me and there are times when I am just so down, depressed. And there's no reason for it. I should be happy. Friday night was a perfect example. Instead of getting excited about a night Master had planned out for us, I got nervous and self-conscious. I felt like He was setting me up to fail.

How terrible is that? How horrid?

My self-esteem has never been good, not even close actually. When I see the disappointment in Master's eyes or when I can hear it in His voice, I crumble inside. I begin to beat myself up; truth be told, I'm my own worst enemy. Even though I know that as a submissive, my opinions only matter so much, that my direction comes from my Master, I can't seem to stop beating myself up after He commands me to. He's told me countless times, "It's my job to punish you, not yours."

God, I wish it was that easy! I really do because my life would be so much easier, simpler. But I've surrendered to Him completely; He has my heart, soul, trust, and entire life in His hands so I should be able to hear Him over my own voice. Except that when I begin to punish myself, I'm screaming and His voice gets lost in my own self-doubt.

Yes, I know. I'm complicated as hell. But I digress...

I've also found that I've become very dependent on Master for my moods. I feed off of His moods and His energy a lot. I'm very aware of this and have worked on my own to try and stop. There are times when He's tired and doesn't have the energy to do much of anything; instead of blaming myself for being too much of a burden, I'm trying to remember that everyone has rough days.

Trying to remember that I'm not perfect is hard to do when I've gone and messed up something that was idiot simple...AGAIN. Master and I are both human, made up of simple flesh and bone. We aren't kinky superheroes who live the perfect D/s life 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (although that'd be fun!).

In what seems to be common in the blogs the past few days, is the fact that our relationships are like the relationships of vanilla folks; we go through ups and downs, we fight, and we are sometimes withdrawal from life. Magdala has done a great post on this topic.

I'm trying not to let other people's moods affect me. Master is the only one I need worry about, not anyone else. He is my life, my world, my owner, and my keeper. Now, more so than the past few months, I know I need Him and want Him. I've told Him before that I would be utterly lost if I were to lose Him. I never want to go back to who I was before He took me as His slave. I'm realizing that I need to take better care of myself for Him as well as for my own well being.

I have no doubt that we'll go through a rough patch here and there but it's normal. The only thing I need to do is be the best that I can be physically and mentally, so that I can be the best slave possible for my Master.

Friday Night Fun

Yes, it certainly was Friday night fun. I do believe llama was a bit nervous prior to my arrival home. Never knowing what my devious little mind has in store for her, she tends to allow her imagination run wild. This often results in a negative effect, causing her fear of the unknown rather than excitement of what is to come.

Nevertheless, she followed my instructions to the letter. I arrived home to find this;



With a sight like that before you, how can you not have a good time?

I sat in my recliner, as llama brought my drink to me. She then informed me that dinner could be ready in about 20 minutes if I was hungry and wanted her to finish it up. I told her that was fine, and she went off to the kitchen to finish the meal. Even simple foods and meals can taste really good when you're hungry.... and when it's served to you by a loving sub. We sat in the living room to eat. Not or usual setting for meals, but I felt like watching some TV while we ate, so we passed up on eating in the dining room.

After dinner, llama cleaned up the dishes and the kitchen after bringing me another drink. I sat and relaxed for a bit and enjoyed the end of another helacious week at work, reveling in the fact that I didn't have to do anything else at the moment. Once llama was done in the kitchen, she joined me again in the living room. After a few minutes, I went into the bedroom, leaving her sitting on the couch. I found everything exactly as I had instructed her. The room was clean, the Liberator was on the floor next to the wall, and the assortment of toys and implements were arranged on the dresser. I got the camera ready and summoned her in to the bedroom. I had her remove her shirt & skirt, leaving her in her bra, panties, and thigh highs.




I laid on the bed, and instructed her to rub my feet. She sat on the end of the bed and massaged my aching feet, then worked her way up my legs until she reached my crotch. She looked up at me, and with her eyes asked me if she may continue. I nodded and she started to rub my crotch, arousing my cock in my shorts. After a few minutes, she asked if she may remove them, and I again nodded to her. She slid the waist band down over my hips and removed them, exposing my now hard cock.

She leaned her head down to take my cock in her mouth, but I stopped her, telling her to only use her hands. She took my cock & balls in her hands and began to rub it, stroke it and massage my balls. After several minutes, I told her she may now use her mouth. She took my cock in her mouth, and hungrily sucked the entire length in her hot and wanting mouth. She continued to rub my balls as she did so, driving me wild. Her tongue found its way down to my balls and then trailed down over my ass. She licked and sucked hungrily, trying to satisfy her lustful needs.

I had her stop after a few minutes, getting up and retrieving the small wedge from the Liberator. I placed it on the bed and this time I used it for me instead of her. I elevated my hips and had her continue. She worked on me for what seemed like an eternity. I finally decided that was enough and I had her switch places with me, her lying on the Liberator with her ass elevated, on her stomach. After playing with her for a minute, I took her..... hard.

I didn't warn her, didn't tease her. I made her gasp as I stuck my entire cock into her soaking wet pussy. She was so excited that it only took a minute before she began to beg me permission to cum. I made her wait. She squirmed, she bucked she whimpered and then begged again.... "Please Master" she panted, "May I cum???" I finally gave her permission, and she screamed. Her entire body bucked, but I didn't let up. The more she screamed, the harder I pounded into her.



I lost count of the number of orgasms that llama had, but it was several. Finally, I felt the twinge in my balls. I reached under her, grabbed her tits through her bra, and squeezed them hard. I tweaked her nipples, rolled them around, and kneaded her tits - hard. As she was cumming again, I reached around her throat with one hand, squeezing hard. The other hand found a fistful of hair that pulled her head back hard. She gasped and squealed, she begged me to pull harder and hurt her.

I continued to squeeze her throat, but let go of her hair. Instead, I ran my nails down her back - hard.



About the time she came again, I reached my limit and blew my load deep inside her. I collapsed on top of her. We laid there for several minutes without moving. Soon enough, I regained my strength and got up to clean up. I had some work to attend to that I had brought home with me that couldn't wait any longer. I went to take care of it, leaving llama to slumber in space.

What happened afterward will be a story for tomorrow.......

Instructions

I have finally managed to clear my schedule for a weekend, The fact that it is a holiday weekend didn’t hurt. I anticipate being home at a decent time tonight, as in before sunset. With this in mind, I have plans for llama tonight. Llama, I know that you will read this before the day is out, so I will give you your instructions. For all of our readers, you can let your imaginations run wild as to what llama has in store tonight.


Here are your instructions for tonight llama;

1)You will have the house straightened up prior to my arrival home this evening.
2)You will be showered and shaved appropriately.
3)You will be dressed in the following manner;

-thigh highs
-black lace bra and thong
-the ‘school girl outfit’
-high heels
-hair in 2 pigtails
-makeup done
4)You will have all the toys laid out on the dresser.
5)You will have the Liberator set up in the bedroom, with the restraint covers on.
6)When you hear me pull in the driveway, you will prepare me a drink. You will be waiting in the front hallway with it and serve it to me off a silver tray, with a towel draped over your arm.
7)You will have the batteries from the digital camera charged and ready.
8)Dinner can be simple tonight, even take-out or delivery.

I expect all these tasks completed by the time I get home. We won’t talk about the penalties for not complying with your instructions, since I know you will not let me down. I will see you when I get home. I love you, llama.

Master

Recent happenings

llama has been very out of sorts as of late. This was largely due to the lack of my firm hand in her daily routine for the last few weeks. For some reason, I have gotten very busy with several different aspects of work. I will not bore anyone with details of what I do, or how I do it. However, I will say that lately I have been doing a lot more after normal hours, and a lot as an independent contractor.

With all this additional work, I have been home a lot less than usual. Several times, this has required me to be away for a few days at a time and some single overnight trips. With any amount of luck, things will settle down by the end of the month.

Needless to say, all this absence on my part has made for a great deal of complacency on the part of llama. She has slipped some in her attitude, duties and respect. This is not entirely her fault. As I said, my absence has greatly contributed to it.

Last night, I was home and decided it was time to reverse this process and get her back in the right frame of mind. After the daily grind had been done, and evening was upon us, I summoned her to the bedroom. I was already sitting on the end of the bed. I told her to drop her shorts & panties and go over my knee. I started her spanking. It was slow and light at first, then building. I was wearing her favorite - the black leather gloves. This was not so much as punishment as it was putting her back in her proper place and frame of mind.

This lasted about 10 minutes. By the time I was done, her bottom was nice and red, the tears were streaming down her face, and she was thanking me for giving her what she so desperately needed.




Once she composed herself, I instructed her to strip the rest of the way, as I did the same. She was ordered to pleasure me with her mouth, which she did. Soon afterward, I took her. It was hard, rough and fast. It was animalistic, raw, primal. I used her. I used her to satisfy my needs and gratify my desires. I grabbed, pulled, twisted, bit, slapped, pinched and scratched her. The more I did, the harder I was, the rougher I got - the more she begged for. She was lustful, wanton. She begged me not to stop.

As she reached her 4th orgasm, I too was about ready to explode. She begged me to deny her breath. The last orgasm she had struggled through with my hand around her throat. This one, she begged for it - she asked me to cover her mouth and not let her breath.

As she climaxed - my hand covered her mouth and part of her nose. She was getting very little air at all, and she came harder and harder as she gasped for breath. Her face was bright red. As she began to come down from her orgasm, and the color started to drain from her face, I removed my hand from her mouth. She gasped for a deep breath and shuddered. She looked me right in the eye and thanked me for taking her, using her, and reminding her what she was, who she was, and who owned her very right to breath. She then curled up in the crook of my shoulder as I laid next to her and she fell asleep with a smile of contentment and satisfaction on her face.

Shock

I don't have much time before I need to be out the door for work but I wanted to comment on what I'm sure is going to be talked about for days to come.

Patty's blog was, for the most part, fictional.

I'm not sure of what to think or how to think for that matter. Her stories had so many small details and I have to give her the credit of being an amazing writer. She's an amazing artist as well.

So, I'm in a state of shock and wonder. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to think about it too much right now. If you'll excuse me, traffic and my coffee are calling.

Getting Back

Once again, we've let HNT slip past us. I didn't realize we'd forgotten until last night! How terrible of us. Work has been hectic, more so for Master than for I. For about the next month, I'll probably be doing most of the posting because Master is going to be very busy with work. I'm going to do my best to keep up and try to write as well as He does.

Master and I were finally home, together, with nothing to do last night. As I tried to get ready for bed, Master began teasing me. He's been under the weather a bit so there hasn't been any play or sex for that matter for a few days. He didn't let it go by without teasing me though...lol. Taking out my contacts while Master played with my ass was interesting to say the very least.

Of course, I fought back. How couldn't I? *smiles* I ended up being pushed down on the bed and held down, with Master nibbling and biting my neck, sending chills throughout my body. I love it when He does that...

I was moaning and squirming beneath Him as He moved to the other side of my neck and down to my breasts. He took His time sucking and biting my nipples. I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter as he moved up, straddled my chest, and placed His cock against my lips. I eagerly began to suck and lick Him, frustrated because I could get that much of Him into my mouth and couldn't get to His balls. I wanted Him in me so badly.

I sucked Him for just a short time before He climbed off and we began to fuck. I love when He first enters me...and this time it took only a few thrusts to draw out my first orgasm. I came hard, with His hand around my neck, squeezing just enough. Another hand holding my hands above my head.

I lost count of how many times I came. He just brings it out of me so easily...I heard Him begin to groan just before Him came. He thrusted and came so hard it almost hurt me. *smiles* We got cleaned up, straightened out the bed, and fell asleep next to each other, just lightly touching in the warm night.

Like I said above, it's going to be one busy month for us both. I'll keep up posting the best I can. Master will definitely make one post a week and that's HNT. All of the pictures are on His computer...*smiles*