HNT - better late than never

Blogger was acting up the other night, and I was unable to update. Finally - I am able to make a post and put up the pictures that I was unable to get off the camera from like a week ago. Yes, I managed to finally get them off the camera. So, enjoy some of my knife handi-work on llama!

New Blogs to Read!!!

I am quite the blog whore. My list of daily reads is so long it has its own folder in my 'Favorite's' list. The kinky blogs and vanilla blogs are also separated into their own folders. *smiles*

Anyways, I added some blogs to our Daily Reads list. I can't seem to keep up with all of the blogs that link back to us but I know most are already listed anyways.

padme's devotions
padme now has her own blog, separate from Journey to the Dark Side. She's only made a couple of posts so far and I can't wait to see more of her personal feelings.

kaya
This blog is written for kaya's Master and often includes very witty, funny posts as well as very honest, emotion-filled posts. Her Master is often away from home because of work but he keeps her going with interesting daily tasks. She also includes pictures which are a bonus because even without them, her blog would be more than wonderful and deserving of a lot of readers. To be honest, when I first began reading her blog, it was a bit unsettling because of her level of submission and some of the tasks required of her. However, I kept reading it and have come to enjoy it immensely, often checking several times a day for her posts.

Confessions of an English Gentleman
Another wonderful read about a man and his expectations of his submissive. His posts can often be eye-opening to a submissive because of the different point of view.

Everything Goes
A couple's blog kept by Griz and goodgirl. They offer wonderful HNT pictures, product reviews for those of you who are always shopping for more new, exciting implements, and fantastic stories of their journey through BDSM and D/s.

The training of His slut
This blog goes along with Everything Goes and is written by goodgirl. She describes her progress as she and Griz go through her training in order to deepen her submission. I enjoy reading this blog because it reminds me that all slaves have doubts and worries too, not just me.

luna's Journey
I just recently began reading this blog, having found it on our "Blogs That Link Here" list. Once again, a blog that I can relate to on so many levels.

I also changed the link for "Randomness" seeing as Dave and Am now have a couple's blog that is very insightful and seems very honest. Every so often, they post new pictures of Am or do reviews of new products they have purchased. Their new blog is listed under "Our Kinky Blog."

All of the blogs I have mentioned above are fantastic reads. I recommend that if you aren't reading them, to stop by and give them a peak. I think that you'll enjoy them a lot!

Things around her are going well. Master and I were laying in bed the other night and began talking about my need for pain. My need for a lot of pain is back with a vengence and Master seems happy to sate the need. He began to speak about where He thinks I am and what He wants to do to me. "I think you're about ready to have blood drawn, to be cut."

Oh goodness His voice turned me on; He sounded so devious and dominant that I literally moaned. He told me to reach down between His legs where I found His cock hard. "Just talking about it makes me hard llama."

I started stroking Him, which led to Him biting and pinching me.

"I'm gonna take your ass. What do you think about that? You want me to fuck your ass don't you slut?"

Oh hell yes!! I moaned and answered "yes Master." He went to get a condom and the KY. Soon, my ass was lubed up and He was pressing into me. I came within a minute. When He fucks my ass I swear He hits my G-spot. It wasn't too soon when He growled into my ear, "I'm going to come in your ass."

I'm excited for later on tonight. I'm hoping that we start experimenting with more pain. I need it so bad. I can't explain where this need for pain comes from but it's here to stay I think.

Success

I had to make a post because I didn't like opening our blog and seeing "Failure." I wanted to cum so bad that night and give Master the orgasm that was right there. I felt so terrible and really quite disgusting. After Master left the room, I just cried into my pillow.

But this, in no way, stopped Master from trying again. *smiles* It was a night or two after the last post. Master and I were enjoying a quiet evening at home, just watching TV and being a normal, vanilla couple. It was after 10pm when I got up and kissed Master goodnight.

"I'll be in in just a few minutes," He said with a smile. I grinned, having a pretty good feeling as to what was going to happen. He came in as He said, stood next to the bed, and pulled the covers off of me. Down His shorts went and out came His already hard cock. He put it to my lips and I eagerly sucked it in, enjoying the taste and feeling of His cock on my tongue.

He didn't let me continue for too long before climbing on top of me and roughly kissing me. He nibbled my neck and down to my tits. He bit, pulled and twisted my tits which only made me wetter. Master's hand made their way down my pants and found me soaking wet. He yanked my pants down and threw them across the room. He worked His magical fingers, spreading my juices around, and took turn between rubbing my clit and finger fucking me.

Slowly He began to work more fingers into me. I'd mentioned a few months ago that I'd like to try fisting and tonight would be the first! He stretched me out good, all the while playing with my clit with His other hand. Soon, I felt His knuckles pushing against my pussy. God the pain felt so good and soon, I exploded around His fingers. He worked every last bit of orgasm out of me.

"Oh yes," He said as He climbed on top of me, offering His fingers to my mouth, which I sucked happily. He pushed into me with ease and fucked me good and hard. I don't remember how many times I came in all. The pain felt so good.

After He came, we cleaned up and say back to relax. I think I may have dozed back off but Master eventually came to bed (again...lol) and we laid down to sleep. That never works for us. He started teasing me by grinding His hips into my ass and I would push back.

We ended fucking again. This time He was more rough with my poor tits. And I loved every single second of it. I moaned, squealed, struggled, tried not to scream, and almost came as He tortured my tits with His hands and teeth. I was left very marked and very happy. The bruises can still be seen well even today.

Master once again, brought me back. The stress all but disappeared and I was able to get my mind focused on some things I needed to get done. I was able to get them done and more. I'm one very happy and very owned slave. Play will be at a minimum until the middle of next week because of my period but I'm hoping to get a spanking tomorrow night before a very busy weekend so that I can remain in the mind space I'm in.

Thank you Master, for not giving up on me and for taking the time to bring me back. I've been so much happier and content since then. Perhaps you could give me a spanking tomorrow night to keep me in line for a busy weekend. I feel very owned and protected right now. I'm sorry for our argument the other night about my career but it's about the fear of failure more than anything else. I'd just as soon as not try than to try and fail. I trust what you say but I'm not sure that I can do it.

I love you Master.

Failure

Even before llama made her last post, I knew she was stressed. It was kind of hard to miss. The signs have all been there. I have tried to make things easier for her, but I havn't succeeded. Tonight, was a disaster.

We finally found a few free hours to spend alone tonight, and we both had the same idea in mind. llama went off to take a bath and try to relax a bit, and when she emerged from the bedroom, she was wearing a new outfit she had bought a couple weeks ago that we hadn't had time to enjoy yet.

It was pink and frilly and see-though and lacy, and short.... and looked fantastic on her. She also had on a new pair of black thigh-highs. I was instantly aroused, and was ready for action. llama had been teasing with me all afternoon, making suggestive comments and flirting. She more than once told me she wanted a paddling tonight. I was ready to give her a good work-out.

I sent her to the bedroom to get out the toy box, and get the bed ready, then followed her in. I ordered her to kneel in front of me, she sighed and began to move. I asked her what was wrong - she wouldn't answer. I asked her again, and she told me that she couldn't let go, couldn't get into space, was afraid of being dissapointed, the list went on.

I started teasing her. I bent her over the bed, and started playing with her. Then I teased her asshole. Pretty soon, I had one finger in her ass and 2 in her pussy. She was soaking wet. I added some KY to her ass and inserted the beads into her ass and a vibrator into her pussy. After several minutes, I had her lay on the bed.

I started using another vibrator on her clit. She was close to orgasm. She was so close, but couldn't relax enough to let herself go. I switched tactics and used one vibrator on her clit as I entered her. It was long and slow, she was right on the edge. All too soon, I was at the point of no return and came hard inside her. She still had not climaxed. She began to cry.

She told me that she couldn't relax enough to let go. I told her it was ok, everyone has stress and from time to time this happens to everyone. She didn't agree, it wasn't ok. I layed next to her for a long while and tried to calm her down and make her relax, and see that it was really ok. She never agreed. She wound up going to bed, very upset and still stressed.

I need to find a way to make her relax.

Hush

It's been awhile since I've posted, probably too long. Like Master said in the last post, I've been struggling as of late. I've been so incredibly stressed, such that I can't sleep, my body hurts. I have muscles that are tense that I never knew I had. Master and I have also been really busy lately. By time He gets home, I'm usually heading to bed.

This was the case last night. I told Master that I was going to bed, when He replied, "No you aren't." I was less than enthused but I didn't have the energy to argue. I simply sighed, went to the couch, and snuggled down as much as I could. I dozed off for short periods of time before Master announced that it was time to go to bed.

He got right into bed, naked, and made sure I knew He was naked. *smiles* I have to take out my contacts before anything and shut the light off before stripping down myself. I climbed in and got right up against His back to get warm. As I cuddled up to Him, He pushed His ass back into my pelvis, chuckling. I giggled and smiled as I let my hand drift down to His ass. I rubbed my finger tips and grazed my nails right down the crease of His ass and thighs. He moaned in response so I continued. I did this for a minute or two before reaching around front to feel His already hardening cock in my hands. I began stroking Him and rubbing His balls in my hands. He moaned and squirmed at my touch which began to excite me.

He rolled towards me a bit, pinning the left half of my body to the bed. He reached over and began stroking my tits and lightly pinching my nipples. His hand slowly moved down to my pussy and began stroking my lips and thighs. Eventually He spread my lips and just touch my clit. I shuddered. All the while I'm stroking His now hard cock, feeling Him pulse within my hand. He fingered me oh-so-slowly to an orgasm.

He sat up and rolled over onto my body, sliding His cock into my very wet pussy with ease. He thrusted deep into me over and over again, quickly bringing me to another orgasm. After this one, He began to nibble lightly on my neck and collar bone. God it felt so good. I moaned, "Yes, a little bit of pain. Please make it hurt."

He obliged and began to nibble harder at my collar bone and neck. I could've melted into the bed at that point. He started to fuck me harder still. One of His hands soon found my ponytail and He twisted His fingers into it, tugging my head to whatever side He wished for it to be. His other hand moved from my neck to my tits, mashing them into my chest, or twisting my nipples until I cried out in pain. This all continued for some time. I lost track of how many time I came before Master filled me up with His cum.

Today, I feel so much better. I've been trying to figure out where my desire to submit to Master had been. A few nights ago, He ordered me to kneel in front of Him; I hesitated before getting onto my knees. I'm still worried that I'm going to fall out of space like I did over the weekend after our last scene. I had to call Him at work to ask Him a question and caught Him at a bad moment; He snapped at me and I snapped right back. Then I just cried.

I'm also afraid that my submissive fire has almost gone out. Out of everything that has to be done during the day, I don't have the time or energy to devote to fully serving Master with all I am. And He should never get less than my best effort. I have other thoughts and reasons behind this but I'm not sure that I feel like sharing them. But overall, things are doing better. We just have to find a balance in this just as we do for everything else in life I suppose.