Sick

I had hoped to get some play time in this week, and over this weekend. That didn't happen. By the time I got to feeling better, llama got worse. Whatever she had that wasn't so bad, she gave it to me, and then she got it back from me and even worse. This is also why the posts have been somewhat scattered as of late.

Needless to say, there has been no play, no sex, and not much of anything else. It's been a daily battle just to go to work and keep the house running.

I feel pretty good now, but llama is still fighting a bad cough and head cold. Maybe in a few days she'll feel better.

Double your pleasure for HNT!

As promised, to make up for my absence last week .......






And here is one of llama during a recent session.....

The Liberator

Oh, my! What a wonderful invention! And the simplicity of it! Had I been a little more creative and not quite so geometrically challenged, I might have tried to make our own. But, we bought one. So far, the worst thing I can say about this product is the delay in getting it.

Originally bought to be a Valentines present, the woman in the customer service department offered me little help when I called a week and a half after I had ordered it and had still not gotten it. She told me that they were backordered because of Valentine's Day, and if I wished to cancel the order and re-order after Valentine's Day, that I might get quicker service. Not sure how that would have worked faster. Seems to me canceling and re-ordering would have moved me to the bottom of the list ..... maybe it's just me.

Anyway, it finally arrived the day after Valentine's Day. We did use it that night for the first time. It was quite interesting, actually. The different positions both of us could get into, and the different combinations you can put the wedge and ramp into. We had quite a good time our first time out with it. By the time we were done, llama had more orgasms than I could count, and she wound up with her feet and ass in the air on the ramp with the wedge under her head, and me hanging half-off the bed. I never knew we could be so acrobatic!

So far, that is the only time we had to use it. We never even had a chance to try out the restraint kit we bought with it. I have been busy at work all through the weekend, and then fighting a head cold. Hopefully, if I can shake this cold, maybe we'll get to play with it again this week. I actually have some free time coming up.

Either way - here's the preliminary review. Two thumbs way the hell up for it, 4 stars, 9 on a scale of 10...... you name it! We're very pleased with it, well worth the money, and we anticipate many hours of fun with it. Folks, if you can afford to buy one, we HIGHLY recommend it!

Slight Delay

Sorry folks but there's going to a delay in our HNT post. Master is very busy with work and unable to post a picture from there. I don't have any of the pictures but Master wanted me to let you know that we plan on doubling up next week.

Hee hee hee!

And yes, the new toy is wonderful!! Very comfortable, supportive, and they allowed for new positions; meaning new angles and different ways to tilt my pelvis. Oh yes, this may be the best purchase we ever make...lol.

We'll be back to posting HNT next week and you'll get double the fun...

New Toys

Our Liberator finally came! May be time for some mid-week play! We'll be sure to let you all know how it works out.

The road to my goals...

Is a hard one to say the least. But more about that later on...Master and I played last night. Or better, Master played with me last night. That sounds better.

The evening got away from us Friday and we ended up not playing. Master made me the promise that we'd play Sunday night and I know that when He makes a promise, He'll keep to it. Unlike so many other people in my life, Master keeps His promises. *smiles*

So after I got dinner cleaned up and put away, He sent me to finish a couple things around the house and to prepare myself. I was a bit nervous but I always am before we play. It's not fear at all but more like, anticipation, excitement, butterflies in my tummy. I finished up as quickly as possible and came out to Him with my collar and bathrobe on. He smiled at me and went off into the bedroom, leaving me to wonder. I could hear rustling, the toy bag being brought down out of the closet, and my cuffs. He came out and tossed them next to me on the couch. I looked up at Him and smiled.

I got His devilish look back. Hee hee hee! I was so ready to be completely His and have Him be focused on me solely.

"Into the bedroom and lie down on your back."

I got up silently and walked to the room with Him following behind me. The first thing He did was bring me the blindfold. It takes away my vision but makes my hearing so much more acute. I could hear Him in the bag and walking around, soon returning to my side. I smiled and giggled.
He began sliding something under my back and that something turned out to be a nylon work belt; He pulled it tightly, squeezing, restricting me. It was new feeling and I think I liked it...lol. Okay, there's no think about it, I loved the feeling.

Master then walked away and returned with the chopsticks and began to place them on my nipples. When they first went on, they really didn't hurt so I figured it wouldn't be too bad coming off. I was so wrong. Master then tied a piece of rope to my ankle cuff, looped it around my neck and tied my other ankle to it, leaving me with both legs up in the air. This is how He left me with and began to work on me. The first few strikes of the crop hurt. I'm not sure why because I don't think He was swinging hard. I'd never been tied up this way and worked over but maybe my skin was pulled tighter than usual? I don't know...

Anyway, Master worked me with the crop, one of His leather belts, He hands...with the leather gloves on. It felt good but I wasn't going into space; I was stopping myself. There was a lot on my mind and I couldn't seem to let go. He had me flip onto my stomach which hurt because of those chopsticks. Eventually the pain eased off and I could put my chest down almost flat against the bed. Master kept working me but I was still hanging on and began to feel horrible, guilty about it.

At one point, He stepped back and snapped a few pictures (and had been doing so throughout the play). After I heard Him shut the camera off, I asked if I could get up and use the bathroom. Between the belt and being on my stomach, I had to go, which made me feel bad.

"Roll over."

I did so and He began to take the chopsticks off. I smiled and asked if He could leave them on.

"Honey, they're turning blue so it's time to take them off, we'll use them another time." It was a this point that He opened the first chopstick and I held my breath. I know the worst pain comes when all the blood rushes back. It wasn't too bad and actually felt good. The second one wasn't nearly as nice. It hurt like hell and that's being nice. Tears came to my eyes and I began to take deep breaths. Master came over and held my hand as I began to get up. He made sure I was okay and sent me along to the bathroom.

I did my thing (which isn't easy when you're turned on) and came out to find Master, minus shorts, stretched out on the bed. I crawled up between His legs and kneeled, looking down. He asked me what was wrong.

"I didn't get into space and I wanted to. It's almost like we wasted play time."

"Did you enjoy it?" I nodded yes. I did like it, it felt good. "Then it wasn't a waste of time. You aren't going to go into space everytime. Tonight you seemed like you were holding back."

I nodded and looked up into His eyes. He motioned for me to come up and we kissed. He had taken the leather gloves off so I went and grabbed them before we continued. He told me to put them on to see what they felt like. I did so and began to stroke His cock and massage His balls.

"It's different, but I prefer the feeling of your hands." I smiled, slid the gloves off, handed them up to Him with a kiss. With that, I slid down and began doing all of the things He loves. I sucked His cock, licked it up and down. I sucked on His balls, massaging them with my tongue and hands. As I worked His cock, balls, and asshole with my tongue and hands, He snapped pictures. I made sure to try and pause as He snapped because blurry pictures are just no fun! And I had time stopping and starting.

Then He stopped me and turned over. "Rub me down." Arggghh! I was ready to jump on His cock, but He wanted a massage. So, I took my time and rubbed His shoulders and neck, down His back, massaged His ass and inner thighs. He enjoyed me rubbing His inner thighs. Worked on down to His feet and took my time there, making sure to get them good. He basically has flat feet and His job keeps Him walking around a lot of the day; so I make an effort to spend extra time there. While massaging Him, I noticed that His cock had some pre-cum on it and we can't let that go to waste! I took my finger and took the first drop, licking it off. Another appeared so I got it with my tongue.

Master rewarded me with a nice, deep moan. When I finished His back, He rolled over. I greeted Him with a deep kiss. "You aren't finished, lick your way down."

I slowly licked, kissed, and sucked my way down His body, back down to His cock. I sucked Him hard again. I love feeling His cock get hard in my mouth, throbbing and pulsing. What's better than that, knowing that He's getting hard because of you?

"Stop." I sat up and back. "Sit on my cock."

What followed was so erotic. I sat on His cock, working Him into me. Soon we were fucking hard and fast, his gloved hands around my collar, neck. I could see the passion and desperation in His eyes and I'm sure He saw that in mine as well as the fact I was sliding into space.

"Hurt me please Master." He slapped me hard across the left cheek, then the right, eliciting a moan from my throat. He slapped my tits and ass. He took over and began fucking me hard, covering my mouth tightly with one hand, and squeezing my hip with the other. It was too much and I squealed my way through an orgasm. He pushed me back and before I knew it, was climbing on top on me, my ankle on His shoulders. Then He clipped the ankle cuffs to the wrist cuffs on each side, so I could not move my legs down, or reach up and grab him. He fucked me hard and deep, moaning, and comming to His own orgasm. I could feel His cock throb and spasm until He pulled out.

He pulled me close and kissed me. I was soaring in my own world as He climbed out of bed to clean off. The feelings of guilt returned as I came down from space, like they had just waited there quietly, rubbing their hands together, killing the endorphines and dopamine rushing through me.

I have a lot of trouble with my self-esteem and ego. The smallest, most meaningless things, have a way of ripping away an esteem that I had built back up. Most of the time, I feel like I'm not good enough or that I need to do things better, and these things are self-imposed. Master thinks I'm doing a wonderful job and that I'm coming along nicely as His slave, but there are days when I feel like nothing.

And it's poisoning Master and I both, individually and as a couple. I can see it, I can see the disappointment in Master's eyes when I feel so bad about myself because He's tried to help me, tried to get me to realize that there's nothing wrong with the way I am. Unfortunately, when He took me as His slave, He got years of emotional and mental abuse along with it. I try so hard not to make Him pay for something He didn't do, something He did nothing to cause.

And when I think about that, the guilty feelings come back. Nasty little cycle, huh? I've gotten past the feelings of burdening Him and I see that I'm here because He wants me here, takes care of me because He wants to, not because He has to. I'm capable of taking care of myself but I'm much more happy, secure, and more calm because He owns me. I love that Master wants to own me, protect and take care of me. I want Him to take my life and control it, I want to belong to Him and live for Him.

But my self-esteem issues stop me. I think that part of me is trying to show Him that I'm not worth keeping around. I'm testing Him to see if I can push Him hard enough to make Him give up on me like everyone else has. But so far, I push and He shoves back, puts me back into my place, giving me comfort and security until my demons start up again. I'm scared to death that one day, I'll push Him hard enough and He will give up. I don't think He ever would but just the mere thought of it is almost bringing me to tears.

And in all of this, I can't figure out why I'm doing it. I hate it. I hate feeling like I'm worthless when I know in my heart that I'm not. When Master can look at me in complete adoration, when I can look Him in the eyes and see the love He has for me, see that He finds me attractive and sexy, I can't help but believe Him. When He takes me in His arms, calms me, and kisses me, I still almost melt like the first time we embraced and kissed.

I need to get past these insecurities and I need to do it sooner and not later. I'm poisoning us and that's wrong. When the demons play, I'm not completely dedicated to Master. My heart, my energy, my spirit, my love, my time, cannot possible be going to Master as it should when I'm not feeling good about myself.

And what a terrible thing that is. It goes against everything I want, need, and desire. It goes against my collar and my role in life. So, wish me luck as I begin traveling down this road that is sure to be rough at times. But it's the road towards a goal that will be for Master and for myself; a road towards a happier llama, a happier Master, and a happier life together.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

-Robert Frost "The Road Not Taken"

I'll never regret having taken the road less traveled...

Weekend

I want to take a moment to thank everyone for all the great comments and all the visits to our Blog lately. We appreciate it more than you know. The fact that everyone finds our escapades so entertaining means a lot to us.

Having said that, there isn't much else going on. We've both been pretty busy this week, coupled with llama dealing with 'that time of the month', there has not been any play.

We also have still not gotten delivery of our Liberator. I have gotten annoyed, and called them earlier today to check the status of the order. The lady I spoke to was very polite, but I didn't want to hear what she had to say. They are on backorder, and it will be at least another 5 days before they anticipate shipping. I'm not happy. The lady asked if I wanted to cancel the order and try re-ordering after Valentine's Day. I explained that I wanted it FOR Valentine's Day, and it was to be llamas present. She said there was nothing they could do, they were out of stock on all the covers for them. So, we have no choice but to wait.

llama has been playful this afternoon, despite her period. She told me she was starting to feel out of sorts, and asked me to correct her this evening. More than likely, she will get some 'hard' attention tonight. It won't be for punishment, but it will be pain.

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend. We plan on watching the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics... then we'll see what she gets afterward.

Ciao!

HNT

Just a peak..... love that little bit of mystery. Enjoy!





Ciao!

Vanilla sex

While the kinky sex is certainly a very, very important aspect of our relationship, it's by no means the defining characteristic. Despite the fact that several times when we start out just getting horny and having foreplay, it usually turns into something rougher.

Not Monday night. I had decided that we needed a little love and tenderness for a change of pace. It had been a few weeks since we had made love. Oh, sure, we have plenty of sex, usually a couple times a week, at a minimum. But, we hadn't made love in at least 2 to 3 weeks. That was too long.

llama actually had planned a little deviousness on her own, before I got home. I actually got home earlier than she had expected, and I caught her getting dressed, fresh out of the shower. She was already dressed, hair still wet. What tipped me off was her feet. She was wearing stockings under her pants. Normally, the thigh-highs are reserved for the kink and the bdsm sessions. When she realized I knew, she gave me a devilish grin.

I knew right then and there what I was going to do to her, but didn't let on. After we had dinner and relaxed a bit, we headed to the bedroom together. She was lying on the bed waiting for me, wearing nothing but her thigh-highs and a thong. I went into the closet, retrieved the bag of toys, and returned with a few specific items. I know she expected me to come back with restraints and implements of pain, but I didn't. I brought back some KY, her biggest dildo, and the new vibrating cock ring. She was leary, commenting that the dildo had always been a bit too large for her, and that it would require a lot of lube to fit. I told her that we'd see how wet I could make her.

I placed them on the end table and crawled into bed with her. We kissed and touched and our hands and lips and tongues wandered all over each others bodies. Soon, my tongue found its way down her belly, and I buried my face between her legs - and I stayed there. I stayed there, licking, and sucking, and nibbling on her shaved pussy for what seemed like an eternity. I brought her to no less that 5 orgasms with my tongue and fingers. Her skin was flushed, her breathing was heavy, and she was sweating. She was limp on the bed, unable to move. I still had plans for her.

I licked my way up her body and kissed her, nibbled her neck and ears, and played with her breasts. I reached over to the end table and retrieved the dildo. She was too far gone to care what I had. I turned around and started to play with her lips with the dildo, and started to slide it in her. She let out a moan as it entered her, and then she took my cock in her mouth and sucked. The more I stuffed the dildo in, the harder she sucked my cock. Before long, she had another 2 or 3 orgasms courtesy of the huge dildo.

She let my cock slide out of her mouth as she tried to catch her breath. I left the dildo in her pussy, got up from the bed and slid the vibrating cock ring on. I then climbed back on the bed and between her legs. Her pussy, ass and the sheets were soaked from her juices. My cock had a mind of its own, and found her asshole. She let out a loud moan, and I started to push against it. Soon, the tip of my cock was passing into her asshole and she looked up. "Master.... I think it's too much. I don't think I can take them both" I stopped, and removed the dildo, slowly. She said it felt better, but still it was too much at that angle. I got up, cleaned myself off and returned. With one easy motion, my cock was buried completely in her pussy. The vibrations were working on her ..... and me. She had 3 more orgasms, and I was about ready to explode. I couldn't hold off any longer.

I pulled her legs up higher, and let the tips on the ring hit her clit. It was too much, the vibrations racing through my balls and I tensed up, buried my cock all the way in, and exploded deep inside her. As soon as I tensed up, another orgasm hit her and she let out a loud scream. She shuddered beneath me as I came. When I was done, she begged me not to move. The tips were directly on her clit and the vibrations were perfect. She had another 2 orgasms as I held still, buried in her. Finally, she said I better pull out before she came again.

We held each other for a long time, hugging and kissing. Soon as I could stand, I got up long enough to clean up and then back into bed with her. We fell asleep, her head once again resting on my shoulder, and all right in our world.

Bugs worked out

OK, after a rather boring Super Bowl, I do believe I have the bugs worked out on the new design. Everyone should be able to read the text easily now, between the alteration of the colors and the increase in the font size. I also got the Haloscan issue worked out, and it appears that I didn't lose any comments after all! Yeah, me!

Any complaints? No? Good ! LOL

Last week, I ordered a new item for llama and I. I can't quite bring myself to call it a toy..... as it's more furniture than implement. By now, you are probably scratching your heads. Well, allow me to ease your confusion. It's called The Liberator. So far, we know 2 couples that have one and SWEAR by them. We were first introduced to it last summer when some old friends of mine came to visit for a few days and told us about the great new item they had bought that had elevated their sex life. Then again recently, when at a small party at a friends house, we 'stumbled' across theirs. One of the other guests had been nosy and going through their bedroom & closet (of course, he was VERY inebriated) and came out to inform all of us of 'the great pilates stuff in the closet!'

Our interest was sufficiently piqued, and we went to find that they too had one. Despite the fact that they had several friends in the house, and their parents (weird moments!), they informed us how great it was and how much they enjoyed it, etc, etc.

So, I went online and checked it out again, and decided there was no sense holding off any longer. As I was looking at it, llama came in and saw it, she had forgotten about it, and asked if I was thinking about getting one. I told her I was, asked her what her color preference was and started ordering. She was disappointed to find the combo model we were looking at didn't come with the tie down points we had seen.

That problem was easily solved when I found the cover conversion kits that go on the different pieces and have the tie down points, and the restrains for an additional cost. She got even happier when I added that to the order. Sure, it cost more, but it was worth it.

I had fully expected it to have been here by now. I ordered it about a week ago, they ship FedEx, and they say if it's in stock that it ships next day. Maybe if we're lucky, it will get here tomorrow. I do hope it was in stock. Sheesh! Nothing worse than having to wait to play with a new toy!

New Layout

As you can see, I am working on a new design layout. Over the next few days, you may notice a few tweaks of colors on text, and things of that nature. Until it's finished, please bear with me. Unfortunately, in the process of doing the first major update on the ovehaul, I managed to lose all the comments from Haloscan. Not sure if I will be able to retrieve them or not, but if I don't - sorry to all of you who have commented in the past! Please continue to make all the comments you'd like!

Some updates

I have been remiss in my duties as of late. No, not the duties of Mastering my slave, llama. She is actually doing quite well, and we've had a few wonderful sessions lately.

No, this is from my fellow Bloggers, Doms & subs alike. I have an ever-growing list of Blogs that I read, as does llama. I have had a few requests lately from readers asking to be linked, as well as permission for them to link us. We are always happy to find out more people are reading about us, and wish to link us.

I've added a few new ones to the llist at the right, if you are not already reading them, you might want to check them out.

In no particular order;

Married Mans Fucktoy - A D/s couple from NYC, and their exploits. Great build-up over the last 2 weeks for a BDSM weekend about to happen. Wondeful!
Journey to the Darkside - Another D/s couple from Vancouver, Master Anakin & padme. The blog is themed in Star Wars (which I love - Jealous I didn't think of it first!). Great stories of their D/s life, vanilla life, and lots of pictures.
Burblings - How I missed Am's blog, I don't know! Sorry Am! She is the sub partner of Dave, whose blog is Randomness and I have had linked for a while.
TIGER and kitten - another D/s couple. She's had a solo blog for quite some time and finally they did one together. A great read!

If you don't see your blog on the list, don't fear! We probably have stopped by or read it, and I may have just overlooked putting it on the list! Please don't hold it against us!

I also added a list of blogs that link to us. If you have a blog that links to us, and don't see your blog listed, please drop me an e-mail so I can add you! Thanks again for stopping by, we love to have you.

Half Nekkid Thursday

OK... so it's Friday and I'm a day late. But..... I was just too busy yesterday to get a picture posted. Better late than never, right??? Here's one from the archives and one of our longer sessions. So, Happy Half Nekkid Thursday / Friday!